Real side of me

Thats how i express my WillPower nd Determination

Am I the most stupid person in this world!!!....

why cant i trust someone completely.... why am i not able to think that,that someone is unselfish ..
why I am always so insecure abt my essence .. why i want that,that someone, who is special..to think about me, think abt me always... why am i so possessive in this regard.. why i always end up imagining pessimistic things... why am i writing this down.... is it becoz, i am the most stupid person in this world!!!!!!

I think i am being stupid becoz i am placing the key to my happiness in some other person's hand.. but is that wrong....

I had happiness with me being the center of my universe.. slowly the idea of someone else at that position came into me... from then onwards it has been different... dont know what made me think of those ideas .. sayad umra ka dosh ho...
but now my new definition of happiness is due to that change only..nd i am not sure whether its temporary or permanent..i may get that happiness n may get fed up with it.. so am i wise in pursuing it... but again how will i be sure of it until i pursue it to the end...

huhh.. i am laughing rt now.. coz i am confused...
there is no value i place for my life of now... i think i have a built a black hole inside me... which sucks every happiness...

this is dangerous...
u c... i am still surviving .. i am out here in this world.. heartless,jealous, cruel & intelligent enuff to hide it and even take advantage... so beware!!!!!!