Wednesday, April 12, 2006

It kills

This is a fictional write up from a moment i imagined/dreamt.

I am a married man with a dead father and a dying wife,who is in a lot of pain.
Moreover, i have to act as a good son and a good husband,
depending upon my conscience.

I am going to kill her
I have to kill her
but how to kill,is the
jeopardy i am falling in...
how to kill,
how to kill!!!!!

he said:
"Killing the culprit is the best way
to get the good out of wayward life"

I get good life..but how come?

My father was a soldier,
not like me though,
he fought combats &
came back in half,
he asked me
to take out the other half.
I followed his orders as always
but what after that,
after that ... I lose.

so i know..
even if i kill, i lose her.

he also said:
"Life is always at worst
making it the best
is the caliber of man"

why cant everyone understand it
being that man is difficult,
being a slave is easy
who are slave are in peace
yes my love u are in peace
because u cry ..freedom freedom..
search of peace, goes in circles
u finally realise,it lies in the search.

free am i..but cant feel it
he was slave .but his dead eyes
reverberated freedom
You are a slave.. but your touch
talks about peace.

what about me.
i am going to perish as free
but feeling the slavelness of my life..
I have realised it atlast,
thats why it has started aching.
I am falling in awful pain,
but this pain is the only thing
in which u rise with fall.
Even love cant allow that,
but loosing love can..
I dont want u all to lose ur love.
Go on..
love ur sister & love ur brother
love ur frends & love ur family.
but never fear its loss..
its wonderful in itself.
love to love, kill to kill
not to win or lose.

sorry sweetheart..
i love you & i will kill u
just give me time to think how,how!!

Dont mind if it was a bit tedious.All this came out that night and i wrote it down quickly in case i forget it. Also,plz do excuse me for bad composition.


Blogger Voice said...

I am sure this is a good poem, very nicely written but what is driving me crazy... how what why u hv written this.
reading this poem remind me of sci fi movie "Animatrix".

9:28 AM  
Blogger Avinash singh said...

Are i saw these scenarios is my one of the uncontrolled dreams.. n neend khulte hum thoda bahut scribble kar liye the taaki baad me kabhi regroup kar ke likh sake yeh sapna...

sapne me i was in chaos ki shud i kill my wife or not??

11:13 AM  
Blogger sonik said...

The preceeding post is what makes you a good/bad husband, and now this..........

Anyways, nice thought, and the sheer randomness of your composition makes it even better. On a lighter note, God save your wife :)

11:43 PM  
Blogger Avinash singh said...


I regard ur comments highly coz u r a gd writer urself.

Randomness is thr just because my dream/imagination ran amock, u c its difficult to ctrl these..

neway thx very much for commenting :)

2:15 PM  
Blogger saurabh said...

yaar u r now writing in a different level.. there are certain things which i didnt understand..

"Killing the culprit is the best way
to get the good out of wayward life"
who is the culprit here?? Is it the suffering ??

It also seems very unusual that a person who is able to make such a big decision to kill his wife is still thinking how to do it??

Your views on relation between freedom, slavery and peace is truly noble and feel that its easier to follow orders rather than making decisions.. which is very true indeed.. but still i dont fully agree with you that its more peaceful.. may be in your case its true.. but not in general..

finally .. Nicely written and very very thought provoking

keep it up...

8:03 AM  
Blogger Avinash singh said...


yeah culprit is the suffering. and though i have made the decision still i am not if full agreement with it.. so thats why my conc is thr so cant think of how to do it.. trivial things matter though..

Tx for the comment.. n this is not at all what i think or act upon.. this is wat the state in which i was dreamin was thinking..

Tx for the comment.. :)

3:43 AM  
Blogger saurabh said...

yess.. i agree that if u r not fully agreeing with ur decision..
then it can happen!!!!!


9:36 AM  
Blogger sonik said...

Baap re that was too much of an honour. Gee am flattered :)

8:47 PM  
Blogger dotty_pixie said...

hey well written.. intense though!that was a really detailed dream..

7:05 AM  
Blogger bp said...

Thoughtful blog... though I doubt i understood completely what you wanted to say, still I enjoyed many parts of it.

7:37 PM  
Blogger Avinash singh said...


tx for commenting yaar..

@niv .

tx for commenting.. n how did u stumble across my blog

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